Developing a healthy self esteem is a strange thing. As soon as you learn to love yourself enough to stand up when someone insults you…you lose friends and family. What happened?
They loved you when you were fat, poor and depressed. They’d sit and listen to you sob and say, “I know, I’m sorry, but I love you”. Once you get over the hump of whatever event turned off your power and you begin to shine again, you look around and find yourself alone. You make the same calls and instead of co-miserating, you can’t wait to tell the person about your new job, new lover, new shoes, etc. Shockingly, they say they have to go and you don’t hear from them for weeks. Slowly you find you are more and more alone, scratching your head wondering how being healthier, happier and maybe having a better job would push your long term supporters away. So, innocently you ask one of them,
“We aren’t as close as we used to be. What’s wrong? Did I do something to offend you?”
And voila’ you get a crazy blast of anger. They call you everything from conceited to crazy, anorexic to fat, self absorbed to trying to cover your dark past (that doesn’t exist)..the list goes on. As tears flow down your face you wonder, how can everything finally start to go well and then everyone either tells you they “can’t be friends” or other nonsense. Wt? You wonder.

Well, as an analyst with over a decade of professional experience, I can can tell you many people who are depressed or angry don’t want their best friend to get married, happy, healthy, skinny, etc. It sheds light on the fact that THEY are creating unhappiness by doing nothing. As we have all heard, “insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome”.

A friend of mine has never been able to stand up for herself or anyone else, especially her kids. Now, being a “fierce italian jew” as they call me at the track, I can’t understand this. I’d stand up for a homeless drunk man if he was innocent and I’d happily go to court over righteous anger if someone hurt my child! It makes me so mad when I think about all the women who need to rise up! Stand up! WHY would you ever let someone hurt your loved ones? SELF ESTEEM my friends, lack of self esteem.  I asked an older professor friend and she said,

“Some people have never been taught to stand up for themselves, let alone other people. They remain scared and get upset at others who DO have to nerve to stand up for what’s right. That’s why so many people hate strong women like you Malena. You do the right thing and you don’t care what people think. You don’t care if you stand alone. You don’t care if people think you are crazy. Is it worth it?”

The answer is obvious. Abso-fricken-lutley! So, when you feel alone and your friends and family are ignoring your hard earned success, it’s because they can’t face the fact they are doing nothing to improve themselves.

One friend of mine is married to a passive aggressive  man who ignores her, makes her buy her own food and insults her constantly. Sadly, it isn’t 1960 and I can’t get away with beating his ass in his front yard and stripping him down to his socks and boy panties! Because emotionally that is what he does to her, every ****ing day, because he is unhappy, he makes her unhappy. When she did the only safe thing she could, leave and teach an out of state class…he became even more upset bitching about how it would affect him. Once she got back, happier and more at peace he really got mean. (How dare she be happy without his permission!) And it goes on…
See the pattern?

Don’t let it get you down, just get new friends, family or lovers! I always say, “I never want to be the smartest person in the room” Surround yourself with smart positive people. Regardless of if someone is your family or not, if they hurt your feelings because of who you are, it’s time for them to go. They are missing out, not you. Be strong in your convictions and character. Don’t let a little jealousy get you down. Actually, you can use it to your advantage. Use it as a sign that you are improving. When the hens start cackling, you know you are becoming more successful. Otherwise, they have nothing to talk about.

Keep growing and being you. When you need help, read SELF ESTEEM by Carolyn Myss (pronounced MACE). She’s a hard hitting woman. She makes me look like snow white even when I’m angry. She is a tough broad and I’m proud to aspire to be like her.

Until next time,

Malena

P.S. I love you all always!

“It’s job security, leave it for the janitors”

• In the U.S., 4.39 pounds of trash per day and up to 56 ton of trash per
year are created by the average person.
• Only about one-tenth of all solid garbage in the United States gets recycled.
• Every year we fill enough garbage trucks to form a line that would
stretch from the earth, halfway to the moon.
• Each day the United States throws away enough trash to fill 63,000
garbage trucks.
• Almost 1/3 of the waste generated in the U.S. is packaging
• Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour.
• Every year, Americans make enough plastic film to shrink-wrap the
state of Texas.
• Seventy percent of U.S. municipal solid waste gets buried in landfills.
• U.S. landfills are closing at the state of 1 per day.

I don’t agree with everything, but this one is a winner. Someone recently told me we hold on to weight when we feel attacked. That explains why every divorcée gains weight during a divorce, including me. When you don’t want people to look at you; when you want to be invisible from the stigma your body hears you. This article goes well with my psychic diet. I also recommend The Abundance Book to keep your head straight about money. Stress makes you poor and fat. Trust me. hahaa I am healing from both right now. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, yes, even with my size. Once you begin to accept yourself and your outer conditions, change begins to occur.

Love thy self! No one else will love you if you’re always putting yourself down. I learned that the hard way. This blog is a fun one because no one reads it. They look at my sexy photos and all that genetic bs, but here I can really be myself and not promote myself as a singer, actress, whatever…I can just give advice and tell you I love you and I’m with you and behind you in all you do!

I love you all!

Malena

ISABEL____________________________________________________

I was remembering back several years ago when I used to do one on one client coaching, I had a great call with a client. It was actually her last coaching call with me and I wanted to be sure that I left her with all the “tools” she needed to maintain and continue her incredible weight loss success. Me: “What do you think will be the most difficult challenge for you moving forward?” I was expecting an answer like traveling, going out to dinner, maybe even cravings, but that was not the case. Client: “Isabel, the hardest thing for me is the mental part of losing weight. I see how successful I’ve been and I clearly see the results in the mirror, but I still find myself doing a lot of negative self talk. It’s almost like I know I’m going to blow it, just like I have so many other times.”

WOW – Talk about honesty. And I know she is not the only person who is going through the same thing. I can remember years ago when I first lost all of my weight, I would get compliments from people and I would always think to myself, “Yeah, whatever, let’s see how long this really lasts.” But there is a reason why the FIRST chapter in your Program Manual is about MENTAL PREPARATION because this is an ESSENTIAL first step. It doesn’t matter how good the information is, how easy I have made it for you, or how delicious the food is. If you’re going to talk yourself out of your own success all day, then you might as well just throw in the towel now (in this case, walk away from the computer and stop reading). So how exactly did I overcome this common hurdle? Here are some strategies I use even today in my life that keep me focused, motivated and always working towards my goal. 1. I start each and every morning with a gratitude list. This is non-negotiable. It takes me no more than 3 minutes and it changes my spirits for the entire day. How’s setting aside 3-5 minutes for a joyous rest of the day? Worth it, right? I write “I am so grateful for…” and then just write, write and write. For me that list always includes my family, my health and my work. I wouldn’t start any day without this. 2. I go to sleep each night playing my personal mind movie in my head as I go to sleep. What is a personal mind movie? Basically, it’s you imagining yourself looking, feeling and doing whatever it is you would do if you achieved your health and weight loss goals. Imagine yourself in a particular outfit, at a party getting compliments, participating in some awesome athletic event. Athletes have actually used this strategy for decades with much success. This approach helps me to fall asleep happy and is much better than lying there thinking about all the things I have to do the next day or harping on stressful events. I sleep so much better at night like this. 3. Only talk to yourself as you would a small child (This one is my favorite and given to me by my best friend Jackie). Would you tell your children all day long that they were never going to achieve their goals, that they should stop trying or that they shouldn’t even try in the first place? No, I sure hope you wouldn’t. You would encourage them, give them hope, and tell them that anything is possible with hard work. Treat yourself, in your own mind, the way you would want to speak to your children or better yet, the way you would want others to speak to your children or speak to you. Keep your eyes on the prize because the prize of the body you are dreaming about is within your reach. If I can do it, so can YOU. Tell yourself how awesome you are and how this time you are changing your life and there is no looking back.

You have to look beyond the external to see the gem that lies within.

I’ve always been considered a weirdo, a nerd, a dramatic fashionista and yes, crazy. I don’t care about fitting in or being in style. A lot of people do care. They care so much that they lose themselves in trying to fit in. I tried to fit in once. I was in 7th grade. I wore the right clothes and did everything the way the IN crowd did. I felt terrible and they still didn’t accept me, even in my hideous penny loafers. That’s when a light came on in my head and I thought, “people will always find something to bitch about. Why not make yourself happy because those people will never be happy anyway.”  They find ‘where your goat is tied’ and they poke at that. Everyone knew I was sensitive about my weight, so they made fun of me, still do. It hurts less and less as the years go by and those people just get more and more negative.

Like a flower, I want to grow and help others grow. Yes, I have some extreme hobbies…I dress up in leather and sing sexy songs, I model sexy clothes on occasion and I get hired to play murderers, witches, cops, etc. on screen. I design bitchen edgy clothes. I’m very opinionated, meaning what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. I call it like I see it. I don’t wuss out and pretend everything is fine if it isn’t. If there is a problem, I want to help solve it.

More than all my hobbies combined is a need, a yearning to help people. The world is a tough place. If I can help someone get through life a little easier, to me that is the ultimate reward. When I counsel people, I always pray like crazy that what I say will be helpful. That this person can see past all my glitz and glamour and KNOW I am on their side. Helping people always has blessings attached. I’ve never had a reading where I didn’t learn something I needed to know.

Readings are when two people agree to share each others energy. You open yourself up to me reading into: your behavior; your mannerisms; your choices; and your background. It is then that I can be a fly on the wall and show you what you could do differently to make your life work.

I am still in awe when I hit the nail on the head in a reading because I am simply repeating what your guides/angels (pick a deity) tell me. I have learned to be a good listener. I don’t have magic powers, not does John Edward or Doreen Virtue (we all had the same PR firm for a while.) I have no idea why I get thought patterns for other people, or why I foresee events that come true. All I can do, is use this “gift” to help people. Giving someone comfort is the biggest high in the world. It means I was listening to God, I heard the message and delivered it correctly.

As an intuitive, to be good at it you must realize it isn’t you. You are simply a “radio receiver” for others who can’t hear for themselves. Don’t feel bad, very few people can read for themselves. Obviously there were times in my life when I couldn’t see the forest for the trees and I made huge mistakes. But the key to success is getting back up and trying again. In the 10+ years I’ve been doing this, I’ve been dead wrong once and sort of wrong once. Not bad odds. So when you see me on video clad in leather and belting it out, or posing half naked as a mermaid, it doesn’t mean I don’t take my intuitive work seriously. On the contrary, it means I keep my Hollywood life separate from my counseling practice because I want to protect the “divine intervention” I receive for my clients. Being intuitive brings you closer to God, and there is no place Id rather be.

Let me know if I can help you. It is always a blessing and a gift.

Love,
Malena

“true masculinity is the knowledge and ability to know when to raise the sword, when to cut with it, and when to sheath it. True masculinity also knows when to hold the shield instead of the sword when confronted by a foe. Raise the sword and say stop, don’t hit that child again. Don’t come across the line I draw in the sand, on the carpet, on my body, or in my soul. Do not call me names. Do not push me beyond my limits. Cease.”

“The archetypal masculine, whether found in men or women, knows when to swing a sword, raise a shield, protect, say no. They carry both sword and shield with them wherever they go and grieve over any wound they inflict and mourn any loss they suffer. The true masculine is the true warrior who grieves the fact that swords and shields are a necessary part of life.”

I guess my soul is a man. Whatever I am, I am proud to have learned courage.

Love you all so much!
Malena

At my darkest hour a few months ago, I had to ask myself if I wanted to let everyone’s comments affect my self esteem. Beauty was inside, not just outside. Yes, my hair was falling out like crazy and my body was puffing up more by the day. I didn’t feel too sexy as I fought for my life. To make things worse, the drugs I HAD to be on ruined my memory, my hair and my looks. I was trying to hard to keep my good spirits up. The only thing that seemed to go up was my weight. Now, I am finally getting better after years of fighting. I still have a long way to go, but I am actually thankful this happened to me and not some other woman. I always recover fast (self esteem wise) and I’m tough. I got to see who my real friends were and who dumped me. Who called after not seeing them for 10 years and who stopped calling, even though they knew I was deathy ill. Some people didn’t believe me and chose to think stupid things. I learned I couldn’t change what people thought. I could only change how I reacted to it.

Now I can just laugh when people say I’m fat and not let it affect my self esteem. I know everyone has their type and I am still beautiful even at a size 12 with MUCH less hair. I still get asked to sing and act and yes, even model! That shows me my personality IS good enough without wearing a 4! Yes, I will get back down to a size 8 again, which is perfect for me at 6 feet…but in the mean time, I think it is super important to love the skin I’m in RIGHT NOW!  Learn to love your body and your life and your outlook will change…no one else’s opinion matters.

Love to you all!

Malena

"We are so into our own lives that we forget how blessed we are"

I have had the pleasure of working a few really cool showbiz jobs the last few weeks. My run around car was loaded to the hilt with costumes and boxes.  It was raining today and I stopped to get some videos on my way home. I noticed a homeless old man shivering under the 7-11. I had some extra cash in my wallet from working. I said, in my broken Italian/Spanish, “I will go to the car and get some money for you in a minute” He understood and started talking a mile a minute in Spanish. As I got my videos, I went to my car and got 5 bucks to give to him. In LA, you never know if a homeless person is really homeless, but this guy wasn’t high or drunk and he looked so cold and sad. As I gave him the $5 I said in English, “Sorry it’s not more, but it might help with food.” He didn’t understand but he grabbed me close for a hug and started to cry. I mean really cry. I hugged him back, telling him I knew how it felt to be homeless and there are people in the world like me who love him. When he called me “Madonna Maria” I started to cry too… knowing he was saying something to the effect of “you are like the mother of Jesus”. You never know what a little help can do. You never know what a simple smile, or a few bucks can do for someone. We are so into our own lives that we forget how blessed we are, and how we can all reach out in some way and help others.

Whether it’s volunteering in an animal shelter (Btw, since we adopted Cocoa, I will never buy a purebred dog from a breeder again. There are too many little fluffy lovers out there at the pounds and rescue centers who need homes!) or a rest home, we can all do a little more. If we do something every day, even if it’s just recycling our bottles and cans, it all makes a difference for our children and the generations to come. This world is a mess. If we can lighten someone’s load, or brighten someone’s day, we owe it to our world to do so.

I was so in awe of the gratitude of this sweet man today. He responded the same way I would if someone gave me $500,000 dollars! You just never know. So, don’t let an act of kindness pass you by. Give to the world, and the world will give back. And remember my friends, energy doesn’t disappear, it just changes forms. Let’s all try to put our energy into good, positive things. Together, we can help each other make our lives happier and our bodies and minds healthier.

I love you all. Keep me posted on what you want to read about and how I can help you.

All my love,

Malena

Welcome to all of you that have found me through Spirit Magazine. I look forward to our journey together. Please comment publicly, anonymously, or send me an email to let me know a little about you and your struggle.

Let’s build healthier, happier lives together.

With love,

Malena

to the introduction

I would like to explain how my intuition works. I am not a tarot card reader. I don’t need divination tools to read a person or situation. This is how a general reading works …  a client emails or calls me.  I ask them to send me a photo or a word or a name to start looking into.  My intuition starts bringing up names, events, timelines, and possible outcomes about that person or thing. I’ll ask the client to ask specific questions about the subject they are inquiring about.  If it’s a person, I’ll usually get the physical description in my head and tell them what I see to find out if I am on the right track.

A reading is like a dance between two people…You lead by showing me where you want my intuition to go.  I follow, blindly telling you what I see and hoping I don’t step on your foot! Sometimes I’ll even say, “Tell me if I’m wrong.” I have so much information in my head that I want to be sure the person or thing I am reading is for YOU. I am rarely wrong. In 12 years I’ve been wrong less than 5 times. Then it’s my turn to lead; having you just listen and fill in the blanks where personal information is needed. By the end of the reading, I am always amazed at how far we went into the future, or past. I’m always so thankful for the information given to me by the guides.

Here’s the thing that separates me from the New Age Guru’s out there that are just in it for the $…

I KNOW this knowledge I get in my mind is not mine. It has nothing to do with me. I am simply a radio receiver, letting you hear what your guides/angels/ancestors have to say.  I do not claim to have any super powers. Yes, I talk to dead people. Yes, I can hear answers to your prayers. Yes, I can feel where you hurt. But I know it’s because for some reason I know how to listen. I don’t know why God gave me these skills. Everyone has them, mine are just fine tuned.

So, if you see a “psychic” who says you must pay crazy amounts of money to heal you, or that “Archangel Michael is with you now” when you ask a question they don’t know … run away! I’ve seen so many phonies in the psychic field. I quit reading for the public for about 4 years. It pained me to see people with very little talent but BIG people skills rake in the dough because they could charm the pants off a snake. I’m direct. I’m simple. I’m real. So real some TV programs hired people who would “tell people what they wanted to hear” because I wouldn’t. Well, I sleep well at night knowing I pray and try to do the right thing. Every client is like myself.  I wouldn’t lie to myself. I wouldn’t want a psychic to lie to me! If I don’t know the answer, I will tell you I DON’T KNOW. To receive real spiritual information, to be a channel, you must be selfless. You must know that it isn’t you. You are a tool that the divine is using to connect with this dimension.  The information is the most important thing, getting the information out to help heal and save people. It is an honor for me to be a receiver for heaven to speak. I am deeply humbled when I give a reading and it’s right because I go in blindly. I have no idea if what I am saying will make sense to the client. I just keep praying I’m doing the right thing. When they call me later and are so excited that we were right, that it happened the way we saw it. I just look to heaven and say,

“I’m listening and I will do your will, regardless of how foreign it sounds. Thank you!!”

It is a blessing to serve you, to help you speak to your loved ones who have passed on, to give you advice.

With love and prayer,

Malena

Email me at: malena@malenateves.com for my schedule. My rate is $100 an hour via phone.

If you are having a crisis and need help, email me and I’ll find a way to help you.